hypersensitivity... Yep, i'm a genius.

Once again the world cowers before the awesome might of my spelling abilities. Or, at least, the twelve-year-old kid who just asked me how to spell it cowers before the awesome might of my spelling abilities. Which I'll take. I'm not proud. (Painfully obvious, I know.)

Last week was my birthday. I'm now 25. Officially a quarter of a century old. Everyone's been asking me how it feels to be 25. Well, after they ask me how old I am and then say "Are you serious?!" in a mildly offensive manner. I'm one of those people in that odd blessing/curse situation of looking much younger than I am. Most people think I'm 19. You'd think my bile-laced view of the world would somehow render me older than my years, but apparently acerbic cynicism and trust issues are a great preservative. (Try some today, ladies!)

I can't complain too much, though. I'm certainly much happier than I've been for the past several birthdays. Everyone is simply agog at the amount of effort I'm pumping into my studies. I can say with all certainty I've found my comfy little niche.

Anyhow, back to being 25. Feels a lot like 24, only more so. Yep. Moving on....

I faced down the dreaded individual black-box last week in my intro to cookery class and emerged, uh, less than victorious. For all of you poor, ignorant, non-cooky types out there, a black-box consists of getting a tray of surprise ingredients from which you must produce a soup and an entree in 3 hours. Yeah, 3 hours sounds like a long time, doesn't it?

My tray included a small pork loin, asparagus, broccoli and potatoes. Not too bad. I came up with a menu lickety-split. Behold, my gastronomic masterpiece:

Pureed Broccoli Soup with Garlic and Olive Oil
Mustard-Fennel Roasted Pork loin with Port-Red Current Sauce (aka Cumberland Pan Sauce)
Chive and Brown Butter Mashed Potatoes
Sauteed Asparagus with Orange Butter

Sounds tasty, right? All went well with the soup, I presented it on time and got great scores on it. (Scoring includes marks for taste, presentation, portioning, quality of work, and, uh.. some other thing.) After that, things started to unravel. Despite all my careful mise en place ('things in place'.. Learn it. Live it. Love it.) I got behind and found myself scrambling to plate everything. Not to mention I'd looked at the wrong list and thought my presentation time was 15 minutes later than it actually was.

And then, my sauce happened. Right, so you take varying amounts of port wine, orange juice, lemon juice and red currant jelly in a pan and reduce. Then you thicken with corn starch. Simple enough. Except when I added the corn starch it turned this toxic, Dr. Seuss-ish shade of green. I'm not kidding, this crap looked like Nyquil. Without time to start over, I had no choice but to serve my bile, uh, I mean sauce, and take the consequences. It actually didn't taste too terrible, it was a little to sweet and kind of bland. By this time I was 25 minutes over my scheduled presentation time.

It was only later, as I drove home wreathed in a cloud of despair and self-pity, that I realized what went wrong. I added baking soda instead of corn starch. Freakin' baking soda.
Yes, I started the day ready to kick ass and take names, and ended with adventures in chemistry. as my dad would say, J for genius.

So that was my great triumph. Somewhat disappointing. Don't feel too sorry for me, since I'm still getting a B in the class. And, as everyone tells me, I will never again confuse baking soda and corn starch.

Finals are over and I've ended my first semester well, with a tentative A and two B's. Not too shabby. I had hoped to end with a 4.0 GPA, but I'll take it. I'm considering this a dress rehearsal, and next semester I shall really bring the house down.

I also got a new job, and have put notice in at the library. I'll be working with the head of purchasing at the culinary institute, which I'm looking forward to. The library hasn't been bad. It beats the heck out of, say, mining coal or turning tricks, but it's pretty tedious stuff. And this new job will be chock full of useful experience for my future career. Fare thee well, library.

Now I can relax and enjoy my holiday break. Sleep has been a favorite pastime since Friday. Ahh... glorious sleep. I will never understand morning people.

A Happy Holiday to you all.